What are some of the barriers to true intimacy? Have you ever wondered that question?
We all want intimacy nowadays but we expect intimacy to happen quickly and easily. No one’s fault as that has been the trend in our country. We live in a society where the norm is short attention spans and instant gratification. We live in a culture that depends so much on feedback from “others,” instead of affirmation from “Self.”
Although that norm might be helpful in some ways, it can be counterproductive in our seeking of intimacy and connection. Let’s look at some ways that might have prevented you from creating that intimate relationship with your partner.
1. You hang out and then have sex early on even though a part of you might not be ready.
2. You do not share your real feelings and thoughts because of fear of getting into a fight, your partner might have negative feelings towards you, which might result in their leaving the relationship.
3. You expect your partner to read your mind and start doing the “right” things that work for you and turn you on.
4. You text each other instead of sitting down, looking at each other, holding each other’s hands so you can have skin to skin contact, and having an honest conversation from the “Best of you.”
5. You feel disappointed and started distancing yourself or shutting down.
6. You have more self – criticism and self – blaming than self – affirmation and self – loving.
7. You hide parts of yourself and do what you think will make your partner happy instead of letting the “real you” being revealed.
8. You judge and blame your partner and want your partner to change.
9. You keep accommodating your partner hoping you will eventually get what you want and desire.
10. You don’t spend enough quality time with yourself and being away from your partner.
11. You have stopped investing and pampering yourself.
12. You frequently feel angry, resentful, and worried.
13. You carry pain from your past or other current relationships. They can be relationships with your ancestors, parents, siblings, friends, or yourself.
14. You and your partner are not being present with each other.
15. You don’t or stop exploring your sexuality and sexual rhythm.
Intimacy vs. True Intimacy
As you can see, we can easily become our own intimacy blockers when we don't do our own work and put in our effort. We need to be the driving force revealing our own internal world in order for intimacy to be developed in our relationships.
True intimacy is not built on one-night stands, love on first sight, technology or spending a lot of time together. True intimacy is built on being honest and present with yourself and with your loved ones at the same time.
True intimacy is based on the careful balance of closeness and distance that create curiosity and eroticism. True intimacy is multifaceted and multileveled – emotional, physical, mental spiritual, energetic level, etc. True intimacy is about knowing yourself from the inside out and show them with respect and integrity to your partner, especially in the face of adversity.
You can read more about about True Intimacy in my blog, Intimacy In A Relationship, to get more information.
Don't Let Yourself Become The Barrier of Having True Intimacy In Your Relationship
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