We want intimacy but we don't always know how to create intimacy. And then we do so many things that block True Intimacy, which only puts more brakes on connection.
What is True Intimacy?
True Intimacy requires us to open up our pandora’s box that has our deepest wounds, most painful betrayals, more erotic, and unspoken desire and fantasy. You want intimacy in a relationship that you have to be foremost honest and undefensive with yourself first. You need to show up and present yourself as who you truly are in front of you partners.
It requires all of us to look inward instead of pointing fingers at others. You need to hold yourself accountable, admit and share your short comings in the presence of your loved ones if you want intimacy. It also dares us to set our boundary and confront our partners to let our voices be heard and needs be met.
It is a difficult process because it requires us to plunge into our scariest skeletons and reveal our vulnerability. That is why is takes a lot of courage and self – compassion. Now although it takes a lot of discomfort and hard work, there is a payoff that makes it all worth it.
What's Required of You if You Want Intimacy and What Do You Get?
You have to be you! You have to be able to yourself the honest truth and feedback without relying on other people’s comments and compliments. I’m not saying don’t look for other people’s validation because it does feel good when we get acknowledgement from others, especially from our loved ones. I’m only suggesting that when you have to be able to give yourself the validation, other people’s words are only sugar on the top that will make you feel even more ecstatic and confident. You get to trust yourself more and have a stronger sense of worthiness and lovability!
Moreover, when you are able to speak up for yourself, admit your own shortcomings, hold yourself accountable, and have clear boundary, you are creating a relationship that has consistency, honesty, and respect. That way it will not be as scary and intense when uncomfortable, but necessary subjects like our desires, fantasy, household chores, finance, etc., need to be discussed. Resentment and anger will not be build. Exhaustion and hopelessness will not creep into the relationship. Instead, trust, support, and commitment will be the anchors and the foundations.
True Intimacy Builds Real Connection!
Denver Couples Therapy Can Help
We like it when our partners are being honest and truth, so do they. True Intimacy will create a stronger foundation for a relationship. It will also help us to grow and become better individuals and partners. True Intimacy creates a better balance of giving and receiving. It will also create a balance of sex, love and power in relationships. A relationship can break us. It can also remake us and heal orphaned, wounded parts of ourselves. We can then all become the adults and the partners that we want to be!
You can visit my other blog, Barriers to True Intimacy, to learn more about True Intimacy.
Do you want a more authentic relationship with yourself, or a partnership that can face the storm together and enjoy life together?
Please share to help more people have connected relationships and satisfying sex lives.