How to Have A Better Relationship

Want a better relationship due to not feeling heard, understood, appreciated, respected, or loved? Couples feel disconnected when relationship issues show up in their dance, and often wonder "what happened to our spark?" My response to that is, "the spark is still there but now you just have to put in more effort to keep the spark going."

How to Have A Better Relationship?

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  1. Be Patient – Our loved ones and we are two separate individuals. We might share a lot of similarities but we also have our
    existing differences. Similarities bring us together. Differences can bring us closer when we use our patience to learn from them. Patience can shine more light on your relationship issues and creates a better relationship. It can help us slow down during heated moments so we are less likely to make hurtful, unintentional comments.
  2. Be Thoughtful – We feel warm and fuzzy and cared for when our loved ones pay attention to our needs and wants. Don’t just be thoughtful on big events like birthdays and anniversaries. Clients I have worked with often share that they love it when their loved ones are thoughtful of important dates and events. They feel more loved however, when their loved ones pay attention to small, day-to-day details. Therefore, when your partner is in the shower, make him/or a cup of coffee or tea and a toast. The weather is getting colder, send a text or even better tell or call your loved ones to stay warm. Creating memories of thoughtful moments can help your body feel calmer when you have to discuss important relationship issues.
  3. Be Forgiving – It would be great if we were all mind readers so we know exactly what each of us thinks and make fewer mistakes. (But what’s there to lean and improve without mistakes?) The point is we are not perfect and our loved ones are not perfect so please be forgiving when mistakes happen. Give each other the opportunity to talk about what happen, learn from mistakes, and do it better next time.
  4. Be Understanding – We are all different in our way of feeling, thinking, completing tasks, etc. Be understanding of the differences between our loved ones and we can help alleviate some of the anger and resentment. You and your partner can be more of a team when you perceive a conflict as a "we" situation instead of a "you" situation. Therefore, Next time when your loved one does something that pushes your button, take a deep breathe, and remind yourself to be understanding.
  5. Be Spontaneous – Humans are creatures of habits. Sticking to routines keep us sane. Life can also become too boring if everything is predictable. Adding some spontaneity can add more spices to day to day tasks. Spontaneity can bring in more excitement to a relationship and make it more fun and interesting. It also keeps our brains sharp. Spontaneity can help a relationship become more flexible so changes are not as scary and challenging when they happen.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

 — Lao Tzu


Relationship issues occur in any dynamic no matter how long a couple has been together. It is not the end of the connection. Quite frankly, it is a beginning of a new change in your relationship. Don't be scared of it. Try the above strategies with each other and see what happen. Go in there with an open, explorative attitude.

You can also visit my other blog about Communication and Intimacy to get more ideas to nourish your relationship with intimacy and desire.

Are you ready to make your relationship better and happier? 

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