In today's world we are moving at an increasingly rapid pace. It seems that most people nowadays have the attention span of a goldfish (you are still reading this , right?) There are so many trivial things in our day that many of us reach the end of our work day exhausted and plagued with decision fatigue. How do we find balance in relationships, life, and everything in between?
When everything takes work, including our relationships, we often find ourselves overwhelmed and anxious trying to take on everything and do it seamlessly. Let's take a moment to review a couple of things that can help you find balance in our modern society.
It sounds simple, but the world around us is constantly telling us that EVERYTHING is important and to get it done now. That is not a sustainable way to live and nurture your relationships. Many couples are juggling kids, work schedules, school schedules, a social life, and household responsibilities. If you're like me, you are already tired just thinking about it.
Now, take a step back and reflect on what you did today. Was everything a priority that had to be done right in that very moment? Some things you have to simply "let go". I don't mean never do it or think about it ever again. I mean if it's the difference of getting all of the dishes done tonight versus spending 20 minutes with your husband and kids before you have to put them down to bed, no one is going to be upset about the dishes still being there in 20 minutes. You see you have e-mails popping up on your phone even though you just left work, it isn't the end of the world if you don't respond right away. Let it go - for now.
When you begin to prioritize the things which are most important vs. prioritize everything you feel you need to do, life will start to seem much less stressful.
2. Remember Who You Are
What were your favorite things to do before you were married, before you had kids, and before you had a daunting work schedule? Maybe you used to go to hot yoga once a week or you met up with friends in the park to play a game of soccer. The things is once upon a time you had hobbies and did things that incorporated "me-time" and self-reflection. That part of you does not disappear once you have new responsibilities. It does come back a little bit to prioritizing, but taking care of yourself should be a top priority too! Remembering who you are and taking time for yourself can only enhance the person you are around others.
3. Limit Social Media
You are probably on Facebook reading this right now, so who am I to say don't get on social media at all? After all, it can be a free resource, a forum, or a preferred news outlet for you. However, it can also be a source of tension and stress for yourself and for your relationship.
After a quick scroll through your Facebook feed it might be easy to feel as if your life is not as glamorous or full as the posts you see. What you might not consider are the tantrums, tears and tired eyes that ensued prior to your friend's adorable family photo. You only see a snapshot of what the experience truly was.
Also, spending a significant amount of time on social media takes away from meaningful time you could be spending elsewhere. Isn't it amazing that we can't sit through TV commercials anymore without picking up our phones? If you think your partner doesn't notice how much time you are spending on social media instead of quality time with them and other friends and family, think again.
The bottom line is, reducing time on social media will help you live and be in the present with the others that are around you.
If your to-do list is never-ending, pick the top 3-5 things you must accomplish today and let go of the rest until tomorrow. If you catch yourself feeling guilty about wanting to sneak away to go get a coffee by yourself, don't! And if you realize you just spent the last hour combing your Twitter feed, put the phone down, look at your significant other and give them a big hug.
It's all about finding balance.
If you are struggling to find balance in your life and in your relationships, consider couples counseling as a way to start working toward this goal.
Not sure where to start? Contact Us for a free phone consultation.