How Do We Know If Our Relationship Counselor is Right for Us?
You and your spouse might be considering seeing a relationship counselor, and making this decision can be a scary one. Your relationship is personal and it can be difficult to share intimate details of your relationship with a third party. A rough patch, whether it’s small or large, can lead you to the decision of whether it would be best to consult with a professional.
How Can Relationship Counseling Benefit Us?
Relationship counseling can have many benefits. The biggest benefit is that couples see an improvement in communication, which leads to a more open and trusting connection. Relationship counseling can also help reinvigorate the emotional connection between you and your partner.
There is a certain stigma attached to relationship counseling. Many believe that counseling is the last resort in repairing a relationship, but this is simply not the case. Couples may seek counseling because their relationship is non-traditional and they benefit from the guidance of a counselor. Blended families may also seek relationship counseling to help one another adjust to the changes of merging two households.
There are times when issues may arise that the couple may need professional help sorting out together, or to gain a better understanding of their spouse’s point of view. Going to a counselor provides a safe space for both voices to be heard. Couples find that they benefit from utilizing this safe place to voice concerns without the issue hand triggering a shouting match.
Questions to Consider
Once you’ve made the decision to see a relationship counselor, you may be wondering if you are consulting with the right person. After all, counseling is an investment in your relationship. Most therapists offer a complimentary phone consultation. Take advantage of this and reach out to 2 or 3 therapists you have in mind. It will give you the opportunity to get to know them and see if they specialize in the area you wish to focus on most with your significant other.
It would be beneficial to find out if the therapist offers an initial consultation. During your first meeting consider these few things:
- Do you and your partner feel understood?
- Do you both feel comfortable with the counselor?
- Do you feel that the counselor is honest and unbiased?
- Do you envision yourself trusting this professional with your doubts, fears, and questions?
- Do you believe this professional is someone with whom you can be open and honest with? Remember you and your spouse benefit from not hiding true feelings from your counselor.
- If you are answering “Yes” to these questions then you may have found the right relationship counselor. At the end of the day, it’s important to trust your gut instincts. It takes work to build a positive relationship with a strong foundation. Relationship counseling is worth considering for any couple and can promote mutually beneficial change for years to come.